Poop As A Kid & Inner Voice Session On Pain
I have always known a connection between physical pain, illness, mental & emotional states. Our beingness is so powerful...emotions left unresolved seem to live in the physical body long after they leave our conscious mind. Ruminating till resolved.
I remember thinking a version of this as a kid, when I could feel anxiety in my body. I can distinctly remember wondering how something first created in the mind....had the power to manifest in the body. I always had issues as a kid going to the bathroom....as most kids do. For some anxiety was developed around #2. I'm sure there are books written or theories on why this phenomenon happens. But this is my truth around the subject matter.
I distinctly remember having these problems so much that my mom took me to the Doctor. I would have crying fits, anxiety & terror over going to the bathroom. This lasted several years. Then I saw something on TV about people with no arms could still feel the sensations of their missing limbs. This fascinated me & led me to believe that the physical reality is created more or less with our mind. I felt the magic of it as a kid...I mean it was like being a Jedi. Creating things with the mind. Seemed like magic aaaa'nd to think everyone had access to this power.
One day all this came together for me all while sitting on the toilet as my 8 year old self. I was struggling, cold sweats, anxiety, fear, panic....all the things...because of, well, pooping. Just as I was screaming out for my mom to come comfort me I suddenly recalled the show on the man with the missing limb....I decided right then that the physical pain I was feeling, the emotional distress was all being created in my mind. It wasn't real. I wasn't really hurting therefore I couldn't really be anxious. Then a 'miracle' in my 8 year old mind happened....the pain, the fear, the cold sweats, the anxiety dissipated. It was like magic.
I now had a Blueprint....not something I could articulate at the time...but I had a system, a reference point that I could go back to anytime I felt distressed. Of course I continued to have episodes & anxiety....But I now had a way out. The more I exercised this 'magic' of the mind & the stronger that muscle became.
It may seem silly or totally tacky to talk about 'Poop' problems as a kid...but it is what it is. This was the first time I could pinpoint an actual perception of pain & a way out of it. This became my reference point for years to come, till I developed a more sophisticated understanding.
Why tell you this story of poop? Well I want you to think about your first 'reference point' or if you don't have one....How can we find you one to get you out of this physical & emotional pain? Are you willing to journal about what that is? What would that feel like & what are your belief systems around emotional & physical pain & how they are connected?
Yesterday & today I have had serious neck/shoulder pain.
Inner Voice Session
Question (mind): Why am I having so much physical pain today & what feeling is lingering in that area of my body?
Inner Voice: Resistance. Suppressed frustrations. Shallow breathing. Too much in one day. Resisting time. Strained vision...obstacles in the way, making future hard to see whole picture. Fragmented vision. Eyes working too hard. Stretch more...elongate my walk...slow down gate and all movements..in a stretching motion. Reach deeper & longer into anything & everything I do.