Mornings always hold the most anxiety in my day. It feels like a lot. I wake up early hoping to have a few quiet peaceful moments with my words. The problem with this is my mind. My mind attaches to the idea that I will have a few minutes..then when I get those few minutes it wants more, starts craving 30 min....then an hour. Then my household starts to wake. The dogs (all 3) have their needs that want to be met an in and out of the backyard. Coffee has to be made, breakfasts, clean up then lunches for the day. Looking for socks & shoes. Struggling with Judd (my son) who doesn't want to wake-up, go to school or put on clothes. Forget trying to brush his teeth. And heaven forbid he has to poop....this takes a whole hour. Dog eats Judd's breakfast...because of his slothery to finish his bowl of oatmeal Time.....time slipping away. Oh god we are gonna be late. Loading the cars with all the things and keep dogs from running out of the front. Pulling dogs out of cars because they wanna go too. Anxious about my 13 hour day today & the output of energy. Did I pack enough food for this? Leaving the house in a mess. Coming home to a mess, at times.
Whew, okay....Lets sort this. Scarcity. Scarcity of time. Feeling of lack. Lack of time. I could attach all of the listed things to the cause of my anxiety & dread of the morning. I could say its the dogs, its chores, its the people that are causing me this uncomfortable anxiety every morning. I could say those are the things that snowball me into wanting to throw my coffee cup against the wall. But I didn't come this far in the self-help (enlightenment) game to blame my environment or circumstances. All of this is in my mind. The mind sees everything outside of itself as the problem/solution.
This is my second time writing this mornings blog. My first one literally disappeared. I wrote about inner voice & the mind. Immediately when it glitched I felt that I would never be able to write that in the same way again, and I wont. I feel like a one hit wonder every time I write something that resonates deeply. Its almost as if I'm not the one doing the writing. When I write about the inner voice I'm led by spirit & a deep knowing...the mind tells a story that one day I may not be able to connect to inner voice. I know this isn't true. However my mind still keeps the narrative. Its much like creating art....sometimes when I create a piece of art that I love....it is followed by an immediate fear of not being able to do that again.
Lets break this down: As I sat this morning with a few minutes of quiet (before I started wanting more) I had a clear connection to my inner voice. I wrote a beautiful blog post. My mind was enjoying the post....but craving more. This started a mind thought of wanting more time...then a feeling of lack. As my house woke up...I started to feel the time slipping. My mind started having negative thoughts about not having enough time to myself, poor me, no matter how early I wake up its no use. I should have stayed up late...poor me poor me. Then BAM! My entire morning blog disappeared as I lost connection immediately to my inner being......just POOF gone. My mind then went into over drive: You wasted a whole hour, you will never be able to re-write that, omg go cook breakfast...blah blah blah.
During this chaos (mind chatter) I heard a voice telling me that is an opportunity. My inner voice barely heard under the mental chatter....was trying to connect with me again. Trying to tell me this & every morning is an opportunity to rise about the feelings of Lack & Scarcity.
Inner Voice: Release the idea of time. Time does not exist in the inner being. Time only exists in the mind. Being present in the moment: lack and scarcity cannot enter. Expressing gratitude & appreciation in each moment connects you to joy & peace...Gratitude & appreciation are the highest vibration. Lack & scarcity cannot enter. Thank each moment for its abundance & you will feel abundant. See the minds story....as just that....a story, not truth. Release expectations & the order of things. We are always here offering peace. We are always at peace & cannot be disturbed by the mind. We are here for you....to guide you and to love you unconditionally. There is an opportunity in every moment to be with us & we welcome you.
Maybe all this played out in this exact way just so you could be reading this and find peace & truth in your hectic day.
You are so loved!