How can i get over "bad" things?
On my recent trip to Colorado, I encountered several different forms of resistance & contrast, allowing me to work on my Alignment. In Christianity contrast & resistance is described as, ”being tested”. It is almost as though I graduated to a new level of Alignment Mastery. Like ninja level.
Navigating Contrast & Resistance
HOW CAN I GET OVER "BAD" THINGS?
— By Inga Kervin
How can I get over "bad" things?
We are back home from Colorado. Back into my space, my home, my smells. A lot to process. Being away always gives you a new perspective, new fresh eyes in which to view your life & your problems. Colorado always brings me gifts in the way of nature, inspiration, goodness, wholeness & expansion.
I encountered several different forms of resistance & contrast, allowing me to work on my Alignment. In Christianity, contrast & resistance are described as, ”being tested”. It is almost as though I graduated to a new level of Alignment Mastery. Like ninja level.
As some of you know, I have a strong desire to move from Texas to Colorado. A new listing of a house popped up within hours of us arriving. I was IN LOVE. It was THE PERFECT house. Perfect in every way. I started to visualize where I would put my furniture, waking up in the morning making coffee, setting up my studio area to paint….I had it all planned out. There is just one problem. We don’t have the MEANS in hand, yet. I knew this. I know this. But I still wanted to dream. To fantasize. To be in the vibration of having the object of my desire. And this is okay. I allowed myself to fall in love. To dream it into being. I allowed myself to feel intense desire. WITHOUT attachment. I stayed in alignment the entire time. Even when the house went to pending status within a day. My heart didn’t hurt. I noticed the disappointment in my husband's voice. But I know this house represents what is possible. This listing showed me how powerful my desire is and showed me what is possible for me, by way of feeling. We will be in Colorado. We will have a beautiful home with office space, studio space, the greenhouse, the garage, the barn….everything. The strong feelings I felt for this house show me what is possible. All I must do is stay in the vibration, in the alignment. Thank you for showing me what is possible.
Maintaining a level of non attachment allowed me to surrender to the dreaming, the desire, the ability to fantasize without feeling heartache, let down or negative emotions.
Does it hurt to dream? Honestly sometimes it does. Because when you really really really really want something you're also really really afraid of not having/getting it. Alignment feels unconditional. Unconditionality is feeling into the desire, the dream without the fear of not having. Allowing yourself to dream, to “go there”, to visualize yourself without the FEAR of not having/getting.
Okay, get yourself some paper and a pen. Journal these questions.
Ask yourself now, What is my biggest strongest desire? What would it feel like to not achieve, have or possess this desire? Does the fear & attachment around this desire create anxiety, anger, shame, sadness, dissatisfaction, feelings of failure or unworthiness? If so, now ask yourself: Is the attachment I have for this desire tied to my value or worthiness? Is it healthy to attach my worthiness to anything outside of ourselves? In other words Do you think that anything externally could ever fully represent who you are and the value of you as a spiritual being?
No, of course not. During the trip, the long car rides (we drove) allowed me to read. I finished Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning. This is a great read. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
Man's Search for Meaning Introduced me to Logotherapy. I am currently going down a rabbit hole with that. But the main take away and foundation for all of his work, is one simple sentence, “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
We constantly ask life what the meaning is. We ask why, why did this happen or that. Why me? We position ourselves as the victim, when asking what the meaning of all this is? As if something greater than ourselves will give us an answer. Like there is some explanation outside of ourselves that will clear the whole thing up. Giving us clarity & meaning.
In actuality we are the ones being asked, by life. We assign meaning, purpose & why. We are responsible for our life and all the things in it. No one else. We give everything meaning by taking responsibility for our own experiences. By recognizing that we are the first cause. We are the moderators of the mental stories, the fears & the suffering. Rather than asking life what the meaning of this is...YOU are being asked by life to give the meaning.
On our long drive back we decided to stop at a hotel for the night. We woke up the next day and drove the rest of the way home to Texas. When we arrived home to unpack we realized that, that night at the hotel our car had been broken into. The lock system had been having trouble the day before (something to do with the key fob). It just so happened that it didn't lock that night. My camera was stolen along with the Nintendo switch I just bought for my son for his birthday.
Again I found myself in Alignment still. I felt as though I should be angry. I should be sad. I should be ready to blame someone. I should feel distraught in some way by the money we lost. However I feel ambivalent. Nothing took value from me personally. I mean the ego says the camera is mine, I bought that with my own money, I bought the Nintendo switch as a gift, I have been robbed. But what have I really been robbed of? A few possessions?
Nothing is worth my Alignment. Nothing is worth pulling me out of the vibration of love, joy, creativity & inspiration. NOTHING. Not even the theft of my beloved Nikon camera, not even the theft of my son’s birthday present.
As I moved into getting things put up, organized, laundry….you know all the things you do after a trip, I noticed I needed to vacuum (dog hair). I pulled out my trusty Dyson and went to work. A few weeks ago vacuuming was a total trigger for me.
You can read about how I overcame this in my blog post title: How To Feel Good In Things You Don't Want To Do BUT Have To Do Is it selfish to want to feel good ALL the time?
Anywho, it wasn’t sucking up hair! My Dyson was broken.
A few months ago, this combination of contrast & resistance would have sent me into a rage. Angry at the world. Self pity. How can all these “bad things” be happening to me! I would have been such a victim, asking life, why me? What is the meaning of all this??
In alignment mastery ninja level 500. I remained peaceful inside. Took it all apart and cleaned every piece. Allowed it to just be.
Your narrative is a choice. No one is holding a gun to your head. You don't have to behave like most people. You don't have to have a reaction that is appropriate, socially acceptable or the way your mother would have handled it. You don't have to react from a place that doesn't feel good.
Everything is a choice. Every thought, feeling, action. Isn’t this freeing? It's your SUPERPOWER.
Has there ever been a time when you ’thought you should’ be mad, angry, sad, embarrassed or hurt? You felt like it was the appropriate thing, maybe others told you how you should feel then at some point you fell into it? Your inner being wants to feel good, but the mind/ego feels threatened.
It is conditioning, domestication, society, systems that told us we should feel bad or have a specific reaction. Think about infants and toddlers…when they get hurt they immediately look to their caregiver to gauge how upset they should be, or to be upset at all. We have been conditioned to react in a way that is acceptable and validated through others.
You are the creator of your own reality and everything in it. You are the narrator & the narrative. You alone assign everything meaning & purpose. It is why we manifested here on earth. To be able to create, feel into choices, to know the power of our own creation. We are the ultimate creators. We are the first cause of everything.
Nothing in life is personal. Everything that happens, happens for you. All events, experiences, traumas are OPPORTUNITIES to awaken to your own power. The power to create a new reality through a new narrative. The power to create meaning.
“The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
I am passionate about teaching you how to Master Your Alignment so that you can feel good unconditionally.
I can teach you how to master your Alignment through 1:1 Coaching & Courses.Message Me
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As always, I'm rooting for you & love you endlessly.
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